GREAT EXPANSE OF NOTHING : When self professed patriots assemble in the national interest anything can happen.
This age old truth has never been truer than in the current epoch of Global Britain and Global Britain in crisis. It’s good to know the self professed patriots have indeed assembled.
“They’ve come together via WhatsApp,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “All texting each other like crazy. It’s a complete love in. Boris and James are texting so frequently people are just amazed at the depth of feeling.”
Depth is a key word in the relationship. Depth of the PM’s pockets as he uses his position of First Lord of the Treasury to spend, spend, spend the UK’s way out of crisis. Just look at the results. They’re plain as day. If Mr Johnson wasn’t PM the U.K. pandemic death toll would likely be very different. But he hasn’t done it alone, the spending that is.
“Mr Dyson has been a great assistance. He’s promised to build life saving equipment. It’s the thought that counts after all. Now he’s going to promise the big one.”
The big one being a bridge between Scotland and Northern Ireland that will magically solve the customs border crisis Mr Johnson caused by promising not to cause it.
“All he wants in exchange is a refund on his council tax to the tune of tens of millions. It’s an offer too good to be true. The PM has grabbed it. Just think of the headlines.”
And what will the bridge be built of?
“Why hot air of course. This way it can float over the customs border and the EU won’t even notice. Just like no one noticed the ventilators.”