Amid all this hoo-haa about Association Football, one thing has escaped the notice of the self-important hoi polloi. Let them play football. It’s about time the Sport Of Gentlemen had a European Super League of Gentlemen.
A true Sport involves danger, risk, cunning, skill, and tearing an innocent animal apart. Very few of these attributes apply to Soccer and its overpaid crybaby players. The sight of blood is all too rare, and generally staunched instead of being allowed to flow freely. The object of pursuit here is not a lethally swift and unpredictable vermin, but an anodyne ball and a stationary net.
Football does have more noble origins, whereby at one time it was common for two mobs of common ruffians to fight tooth and nail over a barrel of beer. Instead of an almost daily occurrence, this would have been an annual spectacle, one single day when the serfs could be spared from working in the fields. In some of the more – shall we say – conservative villages in the shires, this noble tradition is still maintained. The score would be counted in broken limbs, missing teeth, and fatalities. Now that would be a Spectator sport worthy of the name.
And so we come to fox hunting. The Woke Brigade won’t like this discussion, but it is time to override their weedy handwringing once and for all. Gentlemen from across Europe should come together and compete on a level playing field. There may be objections about animal welfare and veterinary certificates, but a quick text to the Prime Minister should sort that out in no time.
There will be no prize, other than pride, naturally. But there will be casual expenses to pay for, such as transportation, grooms, stirrup cups and so forth. The serfs will have to put in an extra shift and contribute their earnings. There will be no tawdry TV coverage. This is a Trial of Champions, not bread and circuses.
So let us blow our own horns and release the hounds. Tally ho!