BABY IT’S COLD INSIDE : WARMING NEWS today with the confirmation that the 10 Downing Street Prime Ministerial fridge is to undergo a major refit.
The fridge is described as a “luxury, walk-in model complete with drinks”. It was installed early in the current prime minister Boris Johnson’s reign after he successfully dodged a TV interview during an election campaign, by hiding in a fridge.
“There was some blowback from dodging that live interview, as it made a mortal enemy of Piers Morgan. You remember him? Used to present a morning show or something. Hell hath no fury like a morning TV presenter scorned…”
The refit is expected to cost £2.6m which in the days of Brexit Britain is chickenfeed, if measured on the PPE contract scale.
“The Prime Minister will be able to continue with his usual governance style inside the fully hermetically sealed fridge which has no contact with the outside world, or any recognisable reality at all,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views.
“Supporters of the PM need not worry that he will be bored though, as the refit will install a world king size, vibrating waterbed and enough chilled champagne to keep anyone going over a long weekend.”
The reason for the refit appears to be a reaction to current news in the United Kingdom, which is becoming a touch unpleasant.
“The Prime Minister has a growing list of tough questions to answer,” the source confirms. “Thus he needs somewhere really close by in which to hide.”