TESTING TIMES REQUIRE TESTS : There’s a lot of talk about flags these days, as the United Kingdom rides on its unicorn across the sunlit uplands of Brexit.
Too many flags some say. Even humble vegetables have to scream out their patriotism. Not enough flags others are clearly thinking, because the old flag of Union is popping up more and more. We thought we would devise a quick quiz to help you decide if you’re getting it just right with your visible displays of patriotic fervour.
This is important because if you don’t wrap yourself in the flag people may not lend sufficient credibility to what you say. People may question your motives. But if the flag is present you are instantly, magically imbued with all of its positive associations. More importantly, no one can then contradict anything you say or do!
Of course simple flag displays may not be enough for you to prove how much you love your country. You could go further and simulate the physical act of love with the flag, as the former President Donald Trump did on stage in America. Certainly a master of the flagshag.
But what about you?
We are all about helping you today. Please take a moment to take our quiz and decide if you are a Union Jack Off!
QUIZ
Question 1. “Do you display the Union Jack in your living room? Or an alternative room in your house when you know that other people will be watching you over Zoom?”
Answer : Yes – CONGRATULATIONS! You are a Union Jack Off! You are well on your way to tarnishing the United Kingdom’s flag by associating it with all the grubby little things you are doing! Based on this answer we suspect you maybe a serving UK parliamentary representative? Please claim £1.01 on expenses for your time taking this quiz.
Answer : No – Ms Patel will see you later. And unless you work for her you can not expect a six figure, taxpayer funded pay off to keep you quiet about what happens during the meeting.
Get yourselves a flag and shag it! You too can be a Union Jack Off today!