PIPE DOWN I’M COUNTING MY BREXIT BENEFITS : The government has been roundly applauded this week (by itself) for the new laws it aims to bring in to clamp down on non-violent protests. As you’d expect in a famous and world beating democracy.
But what has concerned the powers that be is the wide and seemingly unstoppable inaccurate reporting about their motivations.
“Some idiots are suggesting the new anti-protest laws are being brought in because ministers are fed up with having some of the hoi polloi stand around outside parliament exercising their diminishing rights. Clearly it’s not on to question your betters. It is unacceptable to challenge their hypocrisy and lies to their faces. But that is not the reason for the laws. As if someone like Boris Johnson would be bothered by robust and democratic criticism of his numerous failings. It’s just not credible. He’s a famous liberal.”
In order to correct the misunderstandings a sweeping social media and print PR campaign will be undertaken. It won’t just be sock puppet, troll and bought and paid for accounts spreading disinformation either. There will be billboards and speeches from the new £2.6m Downing Street podium.
“Everyone must realise these new laws to crush dissent aren’t about crushing dissent because we have no answer to the dissenters. They’re about trying to keep the noise of all the spontaneous street parties that occur daily celebrating the great success that is Brexit. We don’t like to boast about how superior we are to the Continentals. We like to keep the discussion of Brexit benefits very, very quiet. So quiet you’d think none of them existed.”