TOGETHER FOREVER : The UK’s one man political boy band, Rishi Sunak, is set to step it up a gear in his blatant attempt to woo the affections of British voters away from the mad haired, fat, old, clueless slob currently doing his Elvis at Vegas impression inside 10 Downing Street.
And Sunak’s steps will be synchronised with himself all alone as he enters the recording studio to lay down an album of Rick Astley covers! We begged a few moments of the Chancellor’s time to find out more.
Q : “Thank you for agreeing to see us Chancellor, or should I say prime minister?”
A : “Still just Chancellor for now. But call again next week and you never know.”
Sunak flashed us one of his trademark smiles and we swooned.
Q : “Let’s get right into the heavy stuff. No, I don’t mean whether or not Eat Out to Help Out led to the early demise of people from a case of the sniffles.”
We both laughed. Oh, how we laughed, yesterday’s travails already forgot.
A : “Phew! You had me going there for a moment. Between you and me I sleep really well at night. All tucked up not thinking about Brexit or colds. Just dreaming of the moment I have my people tear out all that tacky stuff Princess Nut Nuts has jammed into the PM’s flat and replace it with pictures of me.”
Q : “And the album of Rick Astley covers is part of your push to replace Boris?”
Another winning smile!
A : “How did you guess? But seriously, Rock Astle’s songs have always been close to my heart. Never Going To Give You A Respectable Pay Rise In Spite Of Hundreds Of You Dying is my gift to the NHS.”
Together Forever? I don’t think you can say that about Johnson and Sunak.