KARMIC AVALANCHE : NOW THAT THE UNITED KINGDOM IS FINALLY FREE TO TAKE IT’S PLACE IN THE 19TH CENTURY AS A FULLY SOVEREIGN, INDEPENDENT, BUCCANEERING, GLOBAL TRADING, RED TAPE SLASHING, JAM AND PORK PRODUCT EXPORTING, ALTERNATIVE ARRANGEMENTS BORDER MANUFACTURERING SUPERPOWER OFF THE COAST OF CONTINENTAL EUROPE YOU’D THINK EVERYONE WOULD BE HAPPY. Especially Brexiters.
But not so.
In spite of the ferocious analysis, research and preparation for mass manipulation of public attitudes, and some minor electoral crime, in preparation for Brexit, it seems now that we’re free no one is happy with it.
“I’m shocked,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “Boris is stunned too. Carrie is rocked. Dylin the prop dog can barely leave the cupboard he’s kept in between photoshoots. It’s all incredibly confusing. Johnson was so concerned he is rumoured to have already asked Gove to set up a unit and find someone, anyone who is happy with it.”
The unit, nicknamed ‘Bollocks’ by SPADS, is said to have been in operation for several weeks already.
“They’ve scoured the land to find ordinary people, business people, MPs even, really anyone prepared to be the face of a mass advertising campaign saying how happy they are with Brexit. Nothing. Nada. Null. Zilch. Zero.”
But in spite of the initial failure in the UK to find someone who is happy, there is a potential line to follow, and not the usual ones for Gove.
“He’s asked the Unit to go to Amsterdam, as soon as the pandemic eases, and interview people there in financial services. He’ll probably find some Dutch that are happy with Brexit. Basically we’ll get a bunch of grinning EU27 people to appear in the campaign. Many of them have seen their business gain exponentially from Brexit. They’ll be happy to tell us how great it is. Then the great British public, especially those famous internationalists who support Brexit, will see how we’ve made a success of it.”
Like everything related to Brexit, this can’t fail.