LAND OF DOPE AND TORY : WE BRITS KNOW ARE HISTORY. WE KNOW WE INVENTED CIVILISATION AND DEMOCRACY. We don’t need some cloistered boffin to come along and upturn the BRITISH apple cart.
Downing Street is going to protect ARE history after fifth columnist, traitor subversives have been noted suggesting such scandalous things such as “maybe we shouldn’t celebrate slavers quite so much?”
“We’re not having that!” a 10 Downing Street insider told LCD Views. “If we allow that some very heavy hitting Tories may come under pressure to pay reparations from all the slaver’s wealth they inherited. We’re not having that either!”
It seems the best way to prevent that is to wage a culture war and if you’re having a war you need a “Free Speech Champion” to wage it.
Clearly then you need Gavin Williamson to draw up the legislation for it. You need a petty little bully if you’re going to have a petty, little war to distract from the very heavy issues inherited from our history.
“Gav will sort this right out. He’s having British history engraved on a block of stone. Several stones actually. A lot of stones. We like megaliths. We like them standing where everyone can see them. So it’s a natural move to engrave the only acceptable version of British history the law will soon allow onto stones. Then to force universities to display them prominately.”
But what will be engraved on the stones?
“Two world wars, one world cup and part of a vaccine! What else is acceptable or necessary in an understanding of British history?”