THE BRIGHTEST AND THE BEST : The UK’s MPs overwhelmingly voted for the final iteration of Boris Johnson’s Brexit deal in the closing days of 2021, and now some of them are even going to read it.
“It wouldn’t have done to mess up Christmas with uncertainty over Brexit,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views, “which is why everyone had to vote for Brexit, so they could get home and try and not spread Covid. Or try and not catch it. Whichever way you roll.”
Clearly the process of ramming the bill into law was a great success for the prime minister, with most opposition MPs even turning up to play their bit parts in his farcical theatre.
Now though some MPs are becoming concerned with the impact of the deal and are actually starting to read it.
“It’s very old fashioned to examine the details of legislation before voting it through,” the source continues, “most modern MPs are not chosen for their attention spans or critical thinking abilities. They’re chosen to do as they’re ordered. And given how ghastly the government’s policy platform is, only the dumbest and meanest want to stand for it. It all harmonises exceptionally well.”
Except for when it doesn’t.
“The details of the bill can now be understood not just by pundits and interested members of the public. But by the people who voted to enact it. It’s a classic bit of Brexit. Do first. Examine consequences later. And always, always avoid scrutiny. It’s the only way to make a success of it.”