HOUSE SLYTHERING : BREAKING NEWS TODAY THAT ONE OF THE LEADING LIGHTS OF BRITISH POLITICAL PANTOMINE, MICHAEL GOVE, HAS APPLIED FOR POLITICAL ASYLUM IN BRUSSELS.
It was expected that Mr Gove would travel into the lion’s den today in order to further confuse the Brexit negotiations, but it took everyone by surprise when he immediately applied for diplomatic protection.
“It is potentially an exceptionally good move on the part of Boris Johnson,” our Westminster correspondent muses, “he presumably tipped Gove over the edge by asking him to go to Brussels in the first place. And now that’s one less knife hovering at his back. Only several hundred remain now waiting for the moment of political assassination.”
Whether or not the EU will grant Gove’s request isn’t clear, with many expressing surprise that he has applied for the asylum in Brussels and not Amsterdam.
“It will make trying him at the Hague easier?” one official mused to us on the condition of anonymity, “as once the UK exits the transition period at the end of December and tears up all its ties to the EU, we can revoke the diplomatic protection and put Gove on trial. I say Hague, it maybe Nuremberg where he is tried.”
But some are concerned that Gove is not genuine in his application and has actually been sent over to Brussels to destroy its outrageous unity v UK, but from the inside.
“This is why he is being held right now in a secure facility,” our correspondent notes, “at the bottom of a well with just enough shade to keep out of direct sunlight, with the walls of the well above head height composed entirely of garlic, silver and some butter. This is to help with the cooking should he accidentally step into the light.”
Other leading Brexiters are expected to head to Brussels and claim asylum before the year is out, much in the way that regime insiders always flee before the final collapse, leaving only the diehards at the end attempting to decide, revolver or cyanide, or both?
Brexit, you do have to crazy to work in it, and no, that doesn’t help.