BAD CHURCHILL IMPERSONATORS GONNA BADLY IMPERSONATE : OUTGOING BRITISH PRIME MINISTER, BORIS ‘AL TO HIS FRIENDS’ JOHNSON, has led the country through thin and thinner already in his time in office.
“Well, it’s not accurate to accuse him of being in office,” a 10 Downing Street insider claims, “as that implies work. And Boris didn’t sign up for that.”
But whether or not he is working while in office is not up for dispute, the wisdom of a second English lockdown is. Especially by idiots in the Tory party.
“We didn’t have much choice in that,” the insider says, “I blame the last Labour government. If they hadn’t devolved certain powers to the colonies, such as health and safety, then we wouldn’t be having the lockdown. Now we have to or we get shown up by the Welsh. Oh, and Scotland.”
And not being shown up by subject provinces is key in the decisions being taken by the Johnson government.
“If they have no one dying and we have thousands dying, people may begin to ask questions of Boris Johnson’s leadership. And I don’t just mean in the way that PPE contracts are dished out to mates, or the failing track and trace system.”
While comparisons to lesser nations have to be avoided, if unfavourable, there is one other major reason England now has to go into lockdown again.
“Dominic Cummings,” the insider shrugs, “there’s a reason the government keeps blaming the public. They’ve lost disciple in England. Right about the 25th of May when Cummings held his press conference in the Rose Garden to laugh at the nation.”