THE INTRINSIC VALUE OF HUMAN HYPOCRISY : Tory MPs are making themselves heard over the plans to bring in some kind of lockdown again in England.
Twitter, Facebook, the state broadcaster and various channels are currently constipated with swivel eyed Tory MPs demanding that people be allowed to die as nature intended. Even though the rules have clearly been redesigned to allow them to carry on living just as they like.
“Sometimes a virus comes to clear out the poor,” Des Face Eating Lizard MP said yesterday to a range of client journalists, “sometimes it does it really fast. Sometimes it’s a bacteria. That’s nature.”
And while some are aghast at how fully the mask has slipped from the Caring Conservatives, and their general disregard for human life, others are celebrating the possibility to use the schism for grift.
“All channels are also full of self-appointed experts who just don’t care if your parents die,” our burning planet analyst reports, “which is nice. I mean if you can make money peddling misinformation and conspiracy theories, that’s a damn sight easier than working for a living. You might even get elected to office. It’s a bloody puzzle while our country is in such a mess. Someone should look into it. And then legislate to stop it.”
But whether or not the growing rebellion in Mr Johnson’s party can be contained is about as clear yet as to whether or not school children will be made to stay in school long enough for worried parents to catch Covid.
“It’s a travesty,” a cabinet insider told LCD Views, “we’ve spent years working to destroy the UK economy with Brexit, and then fragment the country into its constituent parts. After that we’ll look for someone to blame. But we never foresaw Covid. It’s doing our work for us. Well more correctly, the mismanagement of it is doing the work of Brexit. What will be left for Brexit?”
I guess this is what you get when you elect disaster capitalists to office. Some just don’t want a quick disaster, some want it tantric. That’s where the smart money is.