NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS : Embattled alleged internationalist kleptocratic clique stooge Boris Johnson has held out an olive branch to the “King in the North”.
While the negotiations over funding for Manchester appear to be going as well as Mr Johnson having all his families over for dinner, Mr Johnson has nevertheless pulled a trump card out of his genius hole.
“He’s offering Burnham an additional £43m for Manchester,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views, “but there’s strings attached. The money is ring fenced and can’t be spent on Covid-19 related issues.”
What the money can be spent on is in theory a secret, but our reliable source has let the cat out of the bag.
“He’s going to give it to Burnham but only if he promises to spend it planning a Garden Bridge over the River Tame. It’s close enough to Thames in spelling that it’s completely confused Dominic Raab. But that’s standard. It has however given Mr Johnson a way to fulfil his dream of building a garden bridge. And of course it will unite the country and restore belief in Boris Johnson’s make believe government.”
The bridge will be championed by credulous celebrities and ALL the money spent on designing it.
“Clearly the scheme doesn’t actually need to come to fulfilment,” the source shrugs, “like everything the government does it’s a neat way of getting money into the pockets of our chums. Public outcomes are unimportant.”
What Mr Burnham will do with the offer isn’t clear.
He’s waiting for it to be leaked to the MSM news channels, like all government decisions these days, and then for someone else to run over and tell him about it. He will react after that.
Strong and stable government. Not chaos under Ed Miliband. Get Bridge Building Done.