SING A SONG OF SIXPENCE : BELEAGUERED multiple family man, Boris “of no fixed abode” Johnson, is said to be feeling a relief “akin to Icarus seeing the sun set early” at news that he has himself decided to introduce UBI to the UK.
The introduction of Universal Basic Income will however be means tested.
“We’ve set a floor of £150K a year on the income required to qualify to receive Universal Basic Income,” a Downing Street aide told LCD Views, “this is so the strivers don’t become disincentivised and turn into shirkers, when if they just work hard enough they could become inheritance millionaires. Just like us.”
And the generosity shown by the Prime Minister will of course have an unintended benefit for himself.
“It will make life easier for Mr Johnson,” the aide admitted, “now when he walks through his private study and out into his private garden for his midmorning nap, he won’t be worrying about counting the pennies to pay for childcare.”
Of course the top up to the prime ministerial purse will give Mr Johnson greater choice now.
“I suspect he will still continue to work casually and be a stay at home dad. Just you can never be sure what home he’ll be staying in.”
But what is the level of payment that those who qualify can expect to receive?
“What’s the average weekly wage of a live in nanny?” the aide responded, “whatever that is. Plus a little extra so a particular hardworking dad can have a cheeky bet on the horses after he’s finished shagging the nanny.”