TANGIBLE BENEFIT OF BREXIT : THE UK government IS determined to show not just the tyrannical EU imperial superstate what it can do with recovered sovereignty, but the entire galaxy.
Speaking at a special televised address, before attending a bunga bunga party held at the Italian villa of a Russian-British Tory donor, temporary Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced the solar system beating project.
“We’ve already begun!” he announced, “I realised Operation Moonshit, I mean, Moonshot, was not ambitious enough. Mere mortals aim for the Moon. My Britannia aims for the Sun! And on her winged chariot she will fly!”
There followed a fairly incoherent series of classical allusions to Daedalus and Icarus, and Prometheus, and Theseus (something about shopping for wool), the Titans, Odin got a nod, Gorgon, Midas, Superfluous and Nonsensicus, before the Prime Minister returned to his central mission.
“Now that we are FREE of the EU’s well of gravity we can go anywhere. We can do trade deals with the Inedians! But to do this! To grasp the fiery nettle we must go and find them where they live. So I say to you, fellow travellers on my blazing barque, we are going to the Sun! Sol nostri populus volo caseus!“
The journey is expected to be relatively swift with the UK arriving at the surface of the Sun on the 1st of January 2021.
“We will not burn up!” (we will)
“We will thrive out of Earth’s orbit!” (we won’t)
“The meddling technocrats of the EU will watch the climax of our journey with envy!” (they won’t)
“Get hurling the UK into the face of the Sun done!” Mr Johnson finished, “nothing can stop us!” (except the continuous nuclear explosion of the Sun).