WE’RE NOT RACISTS BUT : THE UK MEDIA IS IN FOR A STANDING AWARD AFTER A DECISION TAKEN AT THE HIGHEST LEVELS OF GOVERNMENT.
“Just because we haven’t addressed the gross injustices visited upon the Windrush Generation, done much at all about Grenfell or bothered to have anything other than ‘diversity of thought’ at the very top, doesn’t mean we can’t hunt down the protestors who threw Edward Colston into Bristol Harbour,” a representative for the Home Office told LCD Views. “Slavers should stand on plinths. It’s about who we are and where we’re going as a nation. Any fool can see that. It’s about values and how we express them.”
The spokesman went on to give a nod to Brexit, which has made pretty much every UK racist exceptionally happy, and to the fact that we have Boris “some of my best friends are” Johnson as prime minister. This is spite of long and shameful history of use of racist tropes.
“There’s really only one way we can think to honour the regression we’ve achieved as a country over the last decade, in the service of hard right billionaires stirring up ethno-nationalism to protect their tax havens, and that’s with a statue.”
The statue will be raised on the plinth that the old slaver Colston stood upon.
“The design is a bit tricky, as we have so much of the MSM and commentators to thank for manipulating a potentially tricky national debate about racial equality into one solely concerned with the fate of statues of long dead white men, some of whom were actually rather racist. I mean whose life is more important here? Black people suffering through institutional racism or long dead white men, some of whom were slavers? Global Britain.”
A ‘Clap for Colston’ is also planned, mostly as a dead cat, just as soon as Prime Minister Cummings believes it’s appropriate.