WHAT’S THE POINT OF LIFE EXPECTANCY ANYWAY : THE UK’S PUPPET KING, BORIS ‘DE PRATTLE’ JOHNSONOV, has hit back at traitors suggesting that his policy of no masks in public, in a time of RESPIRATORY PANDEMIC, is a bad one.
“Did the Spitfire pilots of WW2 wear masks?” Mr Johnsonov, who still hasn’t released the Intelligence Report into Russian Interference in UK Democracy, demanded, “Did the brave Tommy in the trenches in WW1 wear masks? Did the triumphant English knights at Agincourt wear masks? British men and women do not conceal their faces. We face danger head on.”
And while Mr Johnsonov looks determined to ignore voices that suggest masks could help save lives, some are wondering if the man who took technology lessons off a pole dancer has our best interests at heart.
“It’s because his own mask has fallen off,” one critic suggested.
“His polling is steadily dropping through the floor,” they went on, “dropping like a lead balloon. So if he was to suddenly restrict the freedoms of the citizens his primary duty is to defend, well, you might find Labour sneaking a poll lead. Not because mask wearing would offend, but because it’d be another u-turn in pandemic policy. People might start to get the sneaky feeling Mr Johnsonov isn’t up to the job. Just. Possibly.”
But others seem less concerned over the loss of Mr Johnsonov’s public mask.
“He’s the fig leaf for Dominic Cummings’ insane agenda to reorganise the UK like a three year ‘reorganising’ his bedroom after being told off for smearing scat on the living room walls. And he’s stuck fast at that. I’d worry about that.”