SEE OUR CASTLES IN 20/20 IN 2020 : FAMOUS HIGH STREET OPTOMETRISTS SPECSAVERS are rumoured to be on the brink of bankruptcy today after Historic England parked its trebuchets on their lawn.
“The offer of two for one on eye tests is like an arrow in the eye for a lionheart of the high street,” our In-Hindsight correspondent reports, “the move by Historic England mirrors those already made this week by English Heritage and the National Trust.”
The threat seems to be heavily based on how much more cost efficient organisations based on historic buildings can be in providing eye testing services.
“Does Specsavers have car parks? Can you get a cream tea there? Can you spend an hour queuing to purchase a radically overpriced sausage roll, like you can at the NT? No way. There’s no wallet killing tea and scone based killing ground. And with the convenience of an eye test which involves merely arriving at the destination without causing a fatal collision, well, should have gone to a Specsavers is destined for the history books.”
Specsavers themselves appear to be blindsided by the move, which comes after super genius Dominic “contempt of parliament” Cummings invented the disruptive way of checking your vision.
But not everyone is pleased. Former customers of the high street brand and Historic England visitors say they feel like they’ve been taken for mugs.
“To think of all the time I’ve wasted getting my eyes tested at a well known high street brand name in order to see the tapestries clearly on my weekend outings to historic properties?” one invented customer complained, “if I’d seen this coming I wouldn’t have watched my money fly like an arrow shot true out of my wallet.”