Herd insanity: We state our position, and covid-19 will be forced to make concessions, claim government sources. Let’s see who blinks first.
It’s the true bulldog spirit. Face the enemy square in the eye, and refuse to budge under any circumstances. It worked for Brexit: look at how many times the EU crumbled! It’s a long game. We will dig in, ignore health and safety regulations, and see who dies first.
Leading this refusal to take any kind of action at all is former Brexit Secretary David Davis. He spoke to LCD Views from his modest palace in Middle England.
“We hold all the cards,” he burbled, working his way through his third bottle of Chateau Maison d’Homme Anglais of the morning. “Covid-19 needs us more than we need it, so it will be desperate to bow down before our Imperial might.”
But infection and deaths in the UK are disastrous, especially when you compare with Germany.
“Yes, yes, exactly,” waffled Davis. “Too many deaths, and there won’t be anyone left to buy their cars! It’s in the German car manufacturers’ best interests to do a deal.”
And how do you deal with a virus?
“Oh, I’m sure somebody will come up with a technological solution sooner or later,” he burped casually. “Fishing rights are key. Eat more fish! British fish, with British chips, caught in British waters, using boats that went to Dunkirk! British bulldog, one, two, three!”
Then what happens?
“We wait for everything to fall into place,” be continued complacently. “Covid means covid, and we are going to make a Titanic success of it!”
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
“The best news is that we don’t have to do anything!” he concluded. “We wait for covid to blink first, and it will, there is absolutely no doubt. These tricky foreign buggers always do. Then we can stroll away into the sunlit uplands, never to be heard of again!”
David Davis, about to enjoy the obscurity he, and the country, so richly deserve.