BE ALERT FOR CROCODILES WITH CLOCKS IN THEIR GUTS : LCD Views has received a hacked together video today of the Conservative’s clevererest MP. The informative footage shows James apparently resetting his famous countdown clock to mark the final moments of Boris Johnson as prime minister.
“It’s only a matter of days, or at best weeks, now,” a source inside Downing Street commented, “I mean can you imagine any way in which things improve for Johnson now? He’s stuffed. Brexit? Wow. Bring on the loss of hundreds of international agreements and trade deals right when the world goes into a recession. No one is going to have time for our nonsense. Parliament? Can he keep hiding from Keir? No. And what happens when he doesn’t? Home life? Can’t just bugger off and have a knee trembler with another woman this time there’s a squawking infant in the bedroom. And let’s not talk about his handling of CV-19.”
Let’s not. Especially not in pictures, hey British press? Plenty of grim appetite to tour the Covid nuked landscape of Europe and show visually the failure to prepare for the pandemic. But the U.K.? Tumbleweeds. Where are all the dead going? Just into the statistics.
But how will changing the prime minister improve the prospects of the Tories?
“I’m surprised you care.”
We care about people suffering and dying. Would a change at the top usher in a better era?
“Not without a GE! But we don’t want to go down that path. We’ll just knife Boris in the back if he doesn’t bugger off soon and crown someone new. Someone shiny and young with good hair and a well fitted suit.”
So not Michael Gove then?
“Well he is likely to be involved. Someone has to look Boris in the eyes and tell him it’s going to be alright as they reach around and knife him in the back. But Gove won’t get the top job, no matter how much abuse Mrs Gove hurls at people on social media.”
But who will then? Such a colourful cast to choose from. Each as shite as the next. We will find out when the clock stops.
It was fun for Boris being Boris? Well, he’s done now and he can bugger off.