TAX IS BEST KEPT IN A HAVEN : 500 billion British blue passports are right now being stuffed into brown paper bags to be dropped at an undisclosed location as U.K. Gov prepares to pay the bill for the Covid-19 furlough scheme.
“Someone has to pay for it, it’s just common sense,” Random Tory MP told Radio 4’s Yesterday programme, “there’s no magic money tree you know, just ask the nurses. And it should be the people who caused the crisis by getting sick with a pandemic to begin with.”
But critics of the decision to use British blue passports have leapt on the fact that Coronavirus may not currently be able to exchange the British passports for useful passports, as every border but the UK’s remains closed.
“These nannywobblers worried that CV-19 will come back even angrier when it finds the paper the passports are printed on is worthless need to stop talking Britain down. The Brexit blues are so ramped you with sovereignty Covid-19 will find itself able to found its own nation state the moment it throws the bags in the back of the stolen van.”
And what might CV-19 call its new country?
“Why the United Kingdom of course,” Random Tory MP shrugged, “following on from our ‘take it on the chin‘ approach, it’s only sensible. Can I have my jelly babies now please? I need to pop back off into obscurity and wait for the call up to cabinet the whips promised me.”