DEAD CAT SOCIETY MEETS DAILY : DOWNING STREET is coming under fire from social media users today after updating the slogan used to convince the British public that excess mortality is “orright!”.
Shortly after daybreak today the whizz kid, social media genius gurus working out of the Satanic Mill at 10 Downing Street let fire across the interweb with the updated word salad.
“It’s more of a tapas, than a salad,” a Downing Street aide corrected, and was swiftly fired for using a foreign word.
“We can’t have foreign words sullying the purity of English,” a swiftly deputised, replacement aide advised, “not when clarity of communication is our byword.”
But they can deputise as many anonymous aides as they like, the fact remains the new slogan is a grammatical car crash.
“We got the ‘its’ correct,” the deputy aide shrugged, “the speed with which we write this shite, think you’re self lucky that’s the only error is your, or you’re only error is, to be consistent. Is this clear?”
It’s not clear, but then that is probably the point.
“We’ve actually had a call from our mentors in the Kremlin,” the aide confessed, “they’ve advised us to dial the disinformation back a bit. Apparently we need someone left alive after Coronavirus to handle sensitive financial contractions. I didn’t even know finances went into labour! You learn something knew every day.”
But one thing is certain, at least now, as the great working masses shuffle onto trains, and some of them shuffle off the mortal coil as a result, at least they will know who to blame.
Covid-19. Remember, it’s not the government’s fault, it’s orll you’re fault. You know this because they told you so with slogans.