28 DAYS LATER : The World Health Organisation has found itself drawn into the controversy surrounding groups protesting lockdowns.
“It seems to be a hitherto unseen symptom of the virus,” Professor M D, chief medic leading the WHO’s response to the plague, told LCD Views, “the countries which experienced Covid-19 early did not have these symptoms in their body public. But the UK and USA especially, it is very alarming.”
The prevailing belief is that the virus may have mutated once it reached both the Mother of Parliaments and the Land of the Free.
“It is interesting, from an academic point of view,” the Professor mused, “the internet allows people to turn to trusted authorities, not necessarily their governments, and determine if an assertion is factual or not, and do so in seconds. But as we saw with first Brexit, and then Trump, just because the capacity for clarity is available, it does not mean that people will use it.”
But what is recommended for governments facing lockdown protests?
“In the UK I would sit the Covidiots (the medical term for those suffering from the condition) down and force them to read out the names of the NHS workers who have died, after contracting CV-19, while trying to save the lives of people gravely ill with the virus. In America? Oh my God? Just be glad the protestors are white, otherwise the bloodbath would not have been delayed two to fourteen days.”
And there are further measures being put forward that the respective governments can pursue.
“Our official advice is for both countries to put all the protestors on an island together and come back later.”
And how much later?
“Enough time to work out what the hell is going on. Which will be as long as it takes to develop a vaccine for stupid.”
Oh, so never.