CLOSING DOORS : The government has finally gotten something right in its personal fight to have the public view the Covid-19 pandemic as a military conflict, and not the public health emergency it is.
“From 6am this morning all public broadcast of the popular 60’s love anthem, Touch Me, by The Doors, has been banned,” an ebullient spokesman for upbeat Prime Minister Boris Johnson told Radio 4.
https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/doors/touchme.html
And the law isn’t stopping at just radio and TV broadcasts. The government has said that any buskers performing the song will face the “full penalty of the law and be taken to Dom’s lab for experimentation”.
Matt Hancock is believed to be behind the move, which surprisingly gained the approval of Boris Johnson, even though little Matty is being fitted up as one of the sacrificial goats to save Johnson’s skin.
“It’s to give Matt a false sense of security before the boot goes in,” a Downing Street source advised.
But critics of the lyrical move have argued that if the government is going to ban songs with (CV-19) provocative titles and lyrics, there is a long list that needs including.
“Why just pick on The Doors?” a well known social media based mouthpiece asked, “Can You Feel The Love Tonight, by Elton John, is basically a Coronavirus hotspot on its own. I Wanna Hold Your Hand, by The Beatles? Just on the grounds of grammar alone, let alone attempting to convince a stranger to endanger themselves. Until every dangerous song is on the list this is nothing more than a token gesture to distract from the failings of a shambolic administration that can’t even do fascism properly.”
But it seems likely criticism will not change government policy. This is entirely rational after the public allowed ministers to make law without parliament, by way of Brexit.
“All of Crowded House is outlawed too,” the energetic spokesman added, “at least until we can ascertain whether everyone inside has been there together from the start of lockdown.”
CV-19 crisis? Do Dream It’s Over, as one day it will be.
And one day singing an old John Lee Hooker classic won’t see you fined. But don’t even think about humming “Love Shack” by the B52’s, until the new measures are lifted.