IGNORANCE IS NO DEFENCE : A TURKISH-SYRIAN ROMAN MAN HAS BEEN ARRESTED by local police today after flouting social distancing rules.
The man, described by a passersby as “swarthy and a bit foreign looking really” was however dressed in a “traditional British style” of plate mail, and carrying a shield bearing a red cross on a white background.
There are even rumours he featured in a recent BBC documentary “A Very British Way of Dressing”, which explains how something that is a fairly generic trait of all people and societies, is really actually just British.
“I was on my way to pick fruit with Nigel when I saw it,” the passersby told anyone who would listen.
“It was a bit of a shock,” one of the arresting officers told LCD Views, “we normally come here to tell people to go home. To see this man brazenly disregarding social distancing laws with an exotic animal? Well, you can imagine the crowd he was drawing. Public health nightmare. You’d only put on a spectacle like this if you were trying to achieve herd immunity with dragons. We warned the man in ancient Turkish, Syrian and Latin to Romanes eunt domus, but he just gave us a sweaty look. I repeated the order, he drew a sword, and that’s when we tasered him.”
The man has been named by police as Saint George and is thought to be the patron saint of half the countries on Earth.
“I suggest to this so called saint that the next time he wants to slay a dragon, he does it over Zoom,” the arresting officer added.
The BBC is reported to be on the verge of commissioning a special show “A Very British Way of Zooming”, and it is hoped (a reformed) George will feature in that.