Come and have a go if you think you’re infectious enough! Fighting talk from the current stand-in tin-pot puppet poster boy of the sociopathic super-wealthy global cabal.
The gloves are off. Regardless of whatever advice so-called “experts” may give. This is a British leader, fighting a foreign menace in a typically British manner.
“Violence is the only language these foreign viruses understand,” said Raab, forehead glinting with beads of sweat, diagnostic throbbing vein pulsing rapidly. “If that virus comes anywhere near me, I’m going to punch it in the nose, as soon as I find out where it is!”
This is really ramping up the response. Punching the virus is a step up from rhetoric but no action.
“We will fight this, erm, invasion we must now call it, with British Pluck and Blitz Spirit!” he declared. “We are on our own against the world, and we will win on our own, just like we did in World War 2!”
But this battle isn’t like The War, it’s against coronavirus.
“Coronavirus? Isn’t that in Turkey?” he asked, the vein throbbing ever more prominently. “We don’t want Turkey coming over here, with their delights and their baths and their Christmas dinners and their flying carpets. This is why we left the EU and this is why we are still doing it whatever, so there!”
Constantinople? Is that what you mean? Istanbul, it’s called now. Istanbul.
“It’s not bull!” he sulked. “Millions of Turks are poised to come over here, right now, with their curly slippers and their superior knowledge of geography.”
Raab gathered himself, with some effort, and struck a pose which he imagined was authoritative and statesmanlike.
“We will fight this threat on the beaches!” he announced. “In every town and city! Just as soon as we know what beaches are, but our best people are looking into it right now!”
Never was so little done by so few to help so many.
“I hadn’t fully appreciated the scale of the pandemic, or indeed the meaning of the word,” Raab concluded. “But don’t worry, I’m going to make sure the virus takes it on the chin!”
After all, it’s just a temporary health flow problem.