The ramps go up to 11: The government has today confirmed that the social distance between itself and any resemblance to what the hell is going on in the country is being ramped up. Ramped up to 11. That’s 1 more rampier than the usual 10.
Traditionally, governments have always ensured that there is a distance of at least ten social strata between themselves and real life. This is being ramplified by including NHS staff as an extra tier, so that the parliamentarians can feel safer and more superior.
No Downing Street ‘source’ was available to comment. This is because the source of all the ‘sources’ has gone to ground claiming coronavirus infection. With the going of Cummings, it was left to Boris Johnson’s ‘personal assistant’ Carrie Borisbaby to brief us.
“Don’t quote me on this,” she said threateningly into her burn phone. “But I think they have finally lost it.”
Lost what?
“Any grasp on the reality of the situation,” she said. “People are dying, there is a desperate lack of medical equipment and protective clothing, mixed messages continue to be sent out. And yet, nothing happens except a bunch of people die and spokesmen waffle meaninglessly.”
So what is there to be done?
“Any number of things,” she replied. “But instead, the government is increasing the gap between itself and the country. It has self isolated in the sunlit uplands of the mind, where fine words not only butter parsnips but also solve all problems.”
Fiddling while Rome burns?
“Exactly,” she grumbled. “If they dither and delay long enough, the whole pandemic will have blown over before they actually have to put their hands in their pockets. The only thing being ramped up is government rhetoric.”
And of course the government is also ramping up its antisocial distancing.