WE’RE TALKING ABOUT A REVOLUTION : THE HOME OFFICE has issued stout advice today to the millions of “economically inactive” Britons, just slumming about raising kids, caring for infirm or elderly members of their communities, being infirm themselves or wasting their time incurring massive debts over text books.
“The notion of the unpaid labour of women is right out the window,” a Home Office red eyed, laser sighting, metal talon clawed robot advised, “so too the labour of stay at home dads and the like. 2020? Get on your bike! We’re turning the clock back to a golden age.”
But there is a way to avoid the stigma of being classed as “economically inactive”, should patriotic Britons so desire.
“It’s easy,” the robot went on, it’s head rotating faster and faster, “primary carers are advised to begin billing their infants with invoices that will be liable to VAT, given the sheer amount of cost involved.”
To make it easier the Home Office will be releasing suggested charging schedules for duties such as nappy changing, colic treatment, outside excursions, sleep services and so on.
“Although the free market will ultimately decide the level any duty is charged at in Brexitannia.”
Clearly also elderly relatives, the disabled – if being cared for by family members, and others should also now be charged, so as to not stain their carers with the new shame of economic inactivity.
“It will have the added advantage of bringing younger members of the community out of schools and into the workforce much earlier,” the robot added, it’s eyes heating up and ready to burn, “which will alleviate the pressure to fund schools. It’s really a win win for everyone.”
There’s no sitting about just letting the computer algorithms of the casino traders now running the government do all the work for you. If you have a child, it needs to know it needs to pay. As we all will.