POST BREXIT REALITIES : ALL PATRIOTIC BRITS know it is a SOLEMN DUTY to keep English pure from foreign words.
Furthermore, to ensure their own vocal chords are not infected with inferior languages. These risk modifying brain activity away from the pure, simple functions required of patriotic, ethno-nationalists eagerly waiting to find out if they’ll be forcibly sterilised to ensure the success of the fatherland.
This much is a given.
But what they may not know is how far their glorious elected representatives, under advice from unaccountable, unelected, highly paid special advisors will go to keep them safe.
Quarantine on cruise ships. That’s how far. Anchored in The Wash.
This will be necessary to help make a success of Brexit, whether or not we still call it Brexit.
“We will need to ensure that, following the deterioration (by design) of negotiations with the EU this year that all returning Brits are screened for bilingualism,” a Home Office Darth Vader said, “bilingualism is a serious disorder that risks lowering a patriot’s defence against not only sneaky foreign subversives who may try and make friends with them, but worse still, breed.”
Such errors risk contagion of the precious, God given English language. We must defend it.
“If you see, or hear of, a friend or family member returning from the Continent, speak a foreign word you must report them,” Darth added, “children are especially vulnerable to bilingualism. If we don’t defend English we risk it being infected by forrin words from such languages as German, Latin, French, Italian, Viking, Indian and worse still, Welsh or Cornish.”
You can all assist by following a simple step.
“If you’re English and you hear a forrin word, forget it and make Britain grate again!”