GET DE-NERDIFICATION DONE : BORIS JOHNSON leads a government now rapidly defenestrating itself of experts in all areas.
“It’s because people have had quite enough of them,” a Michael Gove impersonator told LCD Views. “And quite right too. They tend to tell you no. Boris doesn’t do no’s.”
And Global Britons don’t do no either. Well, at least not while they’re in the post Article 50 transition. At least not until they start talking to the EU from the vantage point of a third country. But even then, we’ll just block our ears and say no. Just so.
With disaster capitalists and casino traders now running the economy, there’s only one way we can go. Boom to bust and make a killing.
“We really are making great strides with throwing all the experts out of the window,” the Gove mirror crows, “we’ve got rid of the trade experts, quite visibly, we’ve left the largest free trade zone on Earth in order to forge a new future as a free trade supremo. The nest of Tufton Street think tanks would like to thanks us, on behalf of their shadowy funders, for that.”
That’s some expert ignoring of expert evidence right there. Let’s platform a ‘think tank’ and free ourselves of fact based policy making.
“And we’ve got rid of the diplomatic experts. We’ve shown that by not sitting next to anyone that used to be our friends. Take that Junker. We’ve taken back control of isolation in order to be forge new friendships. And given the motorway pile up our diplomatic relations are becoming with the US, and even Australia, we’re showing why you don’t need experts here too.”
I mean, we’ve Dominic ‘human hard-on’ Raab running the FCO, proof is in the pudding.
“We’re definitely getting rid of bridge building experts. They’ll say you can’t build a bridge to Ireland over a WW2 munitions dump. Such small horizons. You can if you use empty wine crates! Save on the weight, save on the risk of explosions!”
Genius.
“The BBC has got to go! You don’t need experts in disseminating information to the public if you don’t want the public to have information. No. No. No.”
Yeah! Let’s learn to drool our own way.
“And now to show just how liberalising our one nation Conservative government is, we’re hiring in special advisors that favour eugenics. Let’s just be governed by a bunch of self-styled, inheritance rich mavericks, high on the scent of their own misunderstandings and with a fetish for fascism. We can build a new nation wholly comprised of blonde haired super children! Global Britain! Here we go! We’re not racists, but, we like us some eugenics.”
We may have had quite enough of experts, as symbolised by Brexit, but by the time this mad and vicious clown car government has finished we may well need some experts to put us all back together again…