LOOKING HERE LOOKING THERE LOOKING EVERYWHERE : AT THE RISK OF BEING ACCUSED OF NOT writing satire (the accusation will be correct, this time, and other times, when we choose – sometimes you just want to directly call out the BS) LCD Views has decided to impart to the entire world our take on the government’s ‘Brexit red tape’ challenge.
“It’s a bit bloody obvious,” declared the dust ball nestled next to the discarded paperclip, by the non-existent, permanently shrouded photocopier, “it’s because they haven’t got a fucking clue what to do.”
And while that is certainly true, so far as all the red tape is concerned, it does distract from a more pernicious object of this exercise.
“It’s just more gaslighting,” the broken HB pencil, lost behind a buzzing monitor (covered in derelict, curling post-it notes) shrugs, “they are about to sink the UK’s businesses and private citizens in an unending tidal wave of red tape, so they’re deflecting,
“If you can’t think of any red tape that needs getting rid of that means it’s fine when you get a lot more of it. Just try taking your pet across a border after Brexit. Ha! Don’t worry about the end of JIT manufacturing. Don’t worry about lack of important medications! Don’t worry about the government stockpiling body bags! Try taking Mr Pips to France. Good luck with that!”
The broken HB pencil, he’s got a point.
“Which is more than you can say for Brexit!”
Yes, yes discarded paperclip, you’ve got a point too.
Although we’re a little bit curious about Javid and Truss and this ‘Brexit red tape challenge’? Is the actual word Brexit now banned? Maybe they didn’t get the memo? Maybe it was just more bollocks from the government by gaslight.