Headhunters are falling over themselves to recruit Brexit Party Ltd head honcho Nigel Farage. Farage has earned his place in the history books as the only man in history to campaign tirelessly to lose his job.
Farage had many obstacles in his way, but he overcame every single one of them. Fringe political parties come and go, but his tapped into a nationalistic vein that proved irresistible.
So irresistible, that he managed to gain election to the European parliament he so desperately wanted to have no part of. Year after year, he fought for the UK to leave the EU, and withdraw its MEPs. Year after year the EU failed to collapse like he claimed it would.
He tried harder. From the ashes of UKIP rose the Brexit Party Ltd, the common factor being none other than Nigel Farage. His failed party gone, to make failure harder he formed a limited company funded by grateful billionaires. Once again his election followed as night follows day.
His blatant, one-eyed rhetoric swayed the cowardly Cameron, who bravely ran away from the chaos caused by his cowardice. Theresa May followed, her attempts to square the circle and balance opposing viewpoints pleasing nobody. Finally the vainglorious Boris Johnson, a man with the depth of a dried-up puddle and the integrity of rutting animal, succeeded where no other had. He jumped on Farage’s bandwagon and rammed Brexit through.
The sheer weight of numbers guaranteed that the last flickering flames of opposition have died away. Great news for Farage, as he will finally be out of work.
But not for long. Determination to fail is a very British characteristic, and much in demand. An arch-practitioner such as Farage will be a positive asset to any business still resisting democracy.
With Farage in charge of human resources, what could possibly go right?