WAIT FIVE YEARS AND TRY AGAIN : Cross channel relations are at a low ebb today and not because of Brexit.
Well, not entirely.
The cause of the latest trouble appears to be the decision to publish French translations of “The British Guide to Political Protesting” and make them available for purchase before Christmas.
Initially it was thought the furore was a result of the insult of the translation. It’s well known that all French people speak and read English, but just a lot choose not to.
To patronise in this way by a publisher based in a country famous for sending tourists abroad with a megaphone shouting “DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?” to people with a different native language appears not to be the issue. Although it maybe salt, it’s not the wound.
We phoned up our Paris correspondent to learn more.
“The French health service is better funded and better politically valued than the NHS,” Mr Englishman said, “especially with the current overriding politically driven UK government policy of publicly pretending to want to provide a national health service while actually carrying on like wood lice burrowing through the floorboards.”
We know we this already. What’s the new problem?
“The problem is the publication of the guide has put an unprecedented strain on French A&E departments as unwitting French persons receiving the book for Christmas read it and injure themselves laughing.”
Chapter Headings such as, ‘Wait Five Years While You’re All Corralled Into Fascism and Hope to Vote Again” and “One polite protest every six months will do it” while the UK is being intentionally and systematically dismantled democratically have caused mass outbreaks of broken ribs and streaming tear ducts.
Perhaps if enough people had decided enough was enough when evidence of criminality in the EUref came to light the guide book may have been less dangerous.