THE GRATE INSCAPE : Teaching the German language after Brexit will be much simpler after the Department for Education announced a dramatic reduction in the vocabulary.
Schnell, Verbotten, Schnapps and Guten Morgen are all patriotic British school children will need to memorise in order to get an A star grade.
They won’t even need to know what the words mean, just be able to pronounce them in a cinematic accent.
But critics of the much needed reform have hit out at some glaring omissions to the curriculum.
WW2 movie fanatic, Mr Bloom, spotted the holes in the new lesson plans.
“How are patriotic British students supposed to know what close a run thing WW2 was without knowing what achtung and wurst mean?” he demanded to know, “imagine seeing an extra playing a SS soldier in any of the classics shouting out sausage and a child of Brexlandia not knowing that food was in the offing?”
Ja!
The change to German language lessons are a pilot too, so our source in the Department of Education informs.
“It’s a pilot but they’re in a Spitfire! Ha! Once the pass rate for German dramatically improves than French will also get the treatment.”
Just so.
“And the only vocabulary necessary will be how to signal your willingness to make love in the right accent.”
LCD Views would like to commend the reforms and declare they are long overdo.
“Once these are rolled out all citizens of Brexitlandia will be cunning linguists.”
Sounds like a key plank of happiness to us! Ja! Ja!