BURN A HOLE IN YOUR POCKET : DOWNING STREET shows no sign of letting up on the entirely Brexit appropriate, pointless symbolism with the forming of a new, psychoactive parliament.
“I can confirm today that the Brexit 50p coins that we had to melt down, at vast expense to the public because we got the date wrong, will be re-minted and issued on the 31st January 2020,” someone doing a Sajid Javid impersonation said, “this is so we can rub remainers faces in it as part of healing the country.”
But while the return of the tub thumping coin is no surprise, the complete redesign is.
“As part of paving the way for the UK being entirely asset stripped for the profit of US billionaires we have given the coins a fresh look,” the Javid impersonator continued, “this is to make the transition to a colony of Trump Corp seamless.”
The adopting of US currency on the streets of Little England is not expected to cause too many concerns, as the NHS bills you will receive once Brexit is a success will be issued with amounts due in USD.
And to ensure the complete acceptance of the commemorative, Brexit half dollars the government is going to legislate accordingly. You will get to like it or you will be arrested.
“Once parliament is back up and malfunctioning we will pass emergency legislation making the new half dollar coins the only legal tender in the United Kingdom,” the shadow of a man confirmed, “we expect this to make Scotland especially grateful.”
And what is even better, the coins will have not one, but the busts of two monarchs on the obverse. Both Donald Trump and mini Trump will be featured.
Spend them wisely. Food won’t grow on trees after Brexit you know.