WHY WALK INTO A LAMP POST WHEN A HAND WILL DO : Healthy Secretary Matt Hancock has been famous for receiving £32,000 pounds from a think tank seeking to abolish the NHS for some time, but now he’s adding other strings to his stringy little bow.
“He’s nailed social media,” our campaign analyst nods approvingly, “have you seen his videos? Journey of the haunted man. Quite compelling. Or is it the journey of the empty vessel? I guess given that he invoked the actual war dead from WW2 as part of his joke play to be PM, and then reversed his stance regarding prorogation for short term careerism, well, empty maybe more appropriate.”
But he wasn’t finished there. The high points keep coming.
“Yes. Now he’s gotten involved in the Leeds Infirmary story. The Tories needed something to show they care about the NHS and sick kids. Which they don’t. Quite clearly, or they wouldn’t have spent the last ten years underfunding the NHS and cutting resources to children’s services,
“Anyway, I digress. The story of a four year old with suspected pneumonia was just the ticket. And what timing too! As they suddenly needed a way to distract from Boris Johnson stealing a reporter’s phone as the reporter attempted to show that bloated blonde bag of fetid wall spaff an image of the four year old. Here the head begins eating the tail of course,”
“So little Matt was dispatched to Leeds Infirmary for the first time in his life to show he was action Matt. And what luck when he got there to find a few Labour activists. Now all the party of government, that’s been waging economic war against the country’s most vulnerable for years, needed to do was find a way to convert the whole thing into the perception of them being under attack. They did this by having one of Matt Hancock’s aides walk blindly into the back of a man’s hand. Then they claimed assault. Then Kuenssberg and Peston, and others, went off like little puppies with a treat to yap the news to everyone.”
Then the video of the event emerged?
“Yes. Funny. Given how enthusiastic Little Matt is about putting videos on social media that it didn’t occur to them that someone may video the event and put it on social media.”
Didn’t occur to two of the country’s most highly paid ‘reporters’ either.
Funny that. The truth will out. If the latest bit of GE farce makes you wonder if the Tories are just making everything up as they go along in a desperate spin cycle, then you’re probably right. I wonder what they’ll go on to make up if they’re allowed to keep running the country?