DEGREES OF SEPARATION: The Chinese walls at the all-English BBC are working just fine, claims the BBC. Sharing resources is an efficient way of working, and in no way forms a conflict of interest.
Except that the shared resource is the Conservative party’s notorious visual media editing facility, or video doctors. In recent weeks this unit has produced video clips of Labour politicians, doctored to make them look more stupid than they really are. The BBC has tasked them with making Boris Johnson look less stupid than he really is.
“It’s not our job to point out what an idiot the Prime Minister is,” explained an unrepentant Phil Meditor, head of the BBC’s Propaganda Department. “It’s our job to present him as a credible, competent and popular candidate!”
LCD Views’ Not At All Biased correspondent wondered how the BBC could remain impartial while using the Tory disinformation service.
“We are always impartial towards Boris Johnson!” replied Meditor. “This is our brief, after all.”
How are the public going to make an informed decision about current affairs, if even the BBC are distributing fake news?
“He who pays the piper calls the tune,” replied Meditor. “We are government funded, after all!”
Unfortunately this means the BBC is sacrificing its long standing reputation for reliability and impartiality on the altar of short term convenience. This is something the corrupt wing of the Conservative party (aka the ERG) has sought for years.
“We don’t want a broadcaster, much less a publicly owned mouthpiece, saying things we don’t like,” said unashamed ERG member Justin Kaysov-Exposure. “How better to control the narrative then to bully the BBC by threatening to cancel the licence fee and make them show ads like all the other channels? Well that didn’t work, so we, erm, ‘persuaded’ David Cameron to stuff the higher echelons of BBC News with, you know, people like us. And if they squawk, we will start up with the licence fee thing again!”
The BBC is appealing to the lowest common denominator. Some would say that’s our job. In the meantime, their current affairs section should be called BBC News In Name Only.