RETURN FROM PLACE OF PURCHASE : A 10 Downing Street source said the mood inside the bunker is livid, crimson and other shades from the reddish spectrum today after The Opposition Party announced plans to re-nationalise the Prime Minister and cancel Brexit, in the national interest.
“I don’t know how they expect to pay for such extravagant plans,” the source seethed, “raise taxes on the wealthiest I suppose? Punish the people who create jobs creating letter boxes on tropical islands? Is that it? It’s not very British. It’s definitely not patriotic.
“The office of the prime minister has been sold allegedly to the Russians and to hard right American billionaires in good faith! And there’s nothing in the contracts about buy back rights.
“This half baked, ready meal of a manifesto could cause international money laundering to flood out of London. It will cripple the country’s finances. How will we pay for the consultants needed to sell off the NHS then? Tell me that for nothing.”
But a representative of TOP dismissed the furore from the so called government.
“If we’re wrong in our manifesto commitment to buy back the office of Prime Minister than release the Intelligence Report on Russian interference in British elections and referendums. Conduct the public inquiry into how a pole dancer was deserving of six figure sums from the taxpayer just to host speaking engagements for friends of Steve Bannon.
“Explain how a proven criminally corrupted opinion poll has come to decide all policy, regardless of the overwhelming evidence of its toxicity in our democracy.
“Our manifesto is fully costed by transparency, decency, respect for rule of law and equality of all before the law, regardless of office or status. Once the British people own the office of Prime Minister again I think you’ll find they’ll get a taste for owning other things that they are disenfranchised by. Such as the FPTP electoral system. We will sell that for scrap and invest in PR.”
TOP is clearly crazy.