STOCKING FEELER : Great news for people wondering what to buy loved ones of all ages this year for Christmas. Now you can stop worrying and get ready to purchase a unique present.
“F*ck off Boris!” is set for release in time for the festive season shopping madness. We spoke to ‘Repressed Intelligence Productions’, the team behind ‘F*ck off Boris!’, to learn more.
“It’s true the outgoing Prime Minister spends a large portion of his time in private with just any old blonde he can get his hands on and a laptop,” Acuri Cindrome, lead editor on the project told LCD Views, “but now and then he decides he’s had enough technology lessons and goes outside for a walk amongst the great unwashed. That’s when the magic happens.”
And the magic is members of the public telling the one man, blonde, boy band of British politics to f*ck off?
“That’s right. Any town or village you like, when the festering barrel of spunk that is Bojo rolls into the main square someone tells him to f*ck off. It’s great entertainment. The sort of thing you can watch again and again with the entire family.
“Just today, during his belated visit to the non-emergency floods in Yorkshire, fully 50% of the people he’s come close to on the drowned street, or interrupted having a well earned cuppa, have told him to F Off! And why wouldn’t you, if you had the chance? I know I would.”
The compilation was initially planned as a one off, season’s greetings special, but Cindrome suspects it’s the beginning of a series focused entirely on Mr Johnson’s famous popular appeal.
“I suspect by the time the GE campaign is over we will have more than enough material for ‘F*ck off Boris!’ sequels. We’ve already got the names. ‘You there! Keeping f*cking off!’ and ‘When you finish f*cking off, f*ck off some more!’, so on and so forth like this. Completely relatable.”
The compilation will be available to download, or purchase as a DVD, Stingray and even in VHS format, to symbolise the regression happening in the UK under Boris ‘F Off’ Johnson.
“We’re doing a vinyl edition of just the words and sounds of people telling Boris where to go. Perfect for when you need a pick me up, or if you just want to practice some mindfulness while you wait for Boris to come to a street near you.”
If he does, you know what to say! Say it loud enough and you just might find yourself featuring in a ‘F*ck off Boris!’ sequel.