SOMEBODY SAVE US LIMEYS FROM OURSELVES : A source inside the SNP has confirmed today that the Scottish National Party will be standing parliamentary candidates in all UK constituencies in the December 2019 election.
It’s a move seen as answering the growing clamour in many areas of England for some actual political leadership that’s worth a damn.
“We all know that ‘sources’ are truth,” our Westminster reporter says, “so if someone tells you a source has said something then you better believe it’s true.”
The thinking behind the unusual decision is also believed to be a reaction to today’s NoGov poll, focused on England, in which Nicola Sturgeon was revealed as preferred prime minister by some margin.
“Ian Blackford will be running the campaign in England, but Nicola Sturgeon will become prime minister should the SNP gain a majority in the December GE,” our source added.
Academics will presumably begin pouring over the latest polling data in an attempt to uncover why a Scottish nationalist politician is preferred by the English, over Boris Johnson and Jeremy Corbyn.
“It’s presumably because, no matter what you think about the Scottish independence position, you believe she knows what she’s doing and she doesn’t attempt to confuse with a never ending myriad of political positioning. Oh, and because she is one of the few major British politicians who has an aura of actually knowing what she’s doing. A scarce commodity currently.”
Presumably, if the SNP does take up residence within 10 Downing Street in December it will dampen the desire for independence.
“But if not, at least they’ll kill Brexit Grendall as they close the door on the way out.”