FORM AN ORDERLY QUEUE : David Cameron, Jacob Rees-mogg, Theresa May. Daniel Hannan, Liam Fox, Priti Patel, David Davis and Dominic Raab are said to be fuming tonight after being excluded from a list of people not responsible for the mess that is Brexit.
“David and Theresa, both David’s, are especially peeved as they washed their hands of the entire debacle and walked away. Thus it can’t be their fault in anyway that the UK is currently a massive bin fire as a result of some idiots pursuing Brexit,” a source inside the government said.
But it’s not only Tories that are upset.
Several in the Labour leadership, and on the front bench, are also put out.
“Look, look, multi-millionaire, career politician Jeremy Corbyn didn’t call for the immediate triggering of Article 50 on the 24th June 2016 just to be ignored.”
Fair, but controversial play.
“Surprisingly for an MP who’s been in the House of Commons for nearly four decades, he’s managed to make bugger all impact on the legislature. Brexit is his chance. That’s why he whipped to trigger Article 50, after the courts had ruled parliament had to be involved. And also whipped to help defeat the SNP amendment earlier this year that would have ruled out any chance of a No Deal Brexit. He needs to be recognised. It’s plainly baffling why some yellow Tories, Labour MPs and actual Tories won’t back him as caretaker PM. What with his strong record of opposing the government on Brexit.”
And the fury at being excluded extends to business.
“Tim Martin is said to be gammon red at not being on the list. As he’s only a pub landlord he’s got nothing to do with Brexit politics. Neither James Dyson or that Brexit pushing billionaire which owns INEOS who recently offshored.”
But while the controversy of whose fault the mess definitely isn’t is certain to be vigorous, at least we can all rest peacefully knowing that Prime Minister and his pal Gove are not in anyway to blame.
“It was the Germans. The Irish. That Polish guy remainers adore. All them. And the millions protesting who’ve been saying stop it before it’s too late. It’s their fault. Not the actual members of Parliament and public figures pursuing it.”