KNEEL WITH HANDS CLASPED AND MOUTH OPEN : A consortium of disaster capitalists pushing for Hard Brexit have moved today to dispel concerns about the impact on less wealthy people.
“Some would say if you were genetically daft and didn’t inherit vast wealth to store offshore that is your problem,” Mr Crisply Odious said, “but I say that’s giving a bad impression of people who simply wish to make a profit, with no physical production, at a lot of other people’s expense. It doesn’t do to tell the general public what we really think. It’s better to talk about sovereignty and immigration.”
Mr Odious paused a moment to dismantle a key public service, before continuing.
“The profits I make from urging elected representatives to take political decisions that allow me to better invest in Britain will be fairly distributed. Mostly by stabilising the assets I wish to purchase at an artificially deflated price, through political decisions. Then I buy and sell either intact or in pieces, thus redistributing the gains back offshore to whatever currency pleases. Or I just bet against the pound for an easy kill of course.”
But naturally there will be some shared about in the process?
“Of course. Who do you think is going to polish my Lamborghini? It won’t do it itself, yet. So a minimum wage worker will see the benefit. Clearly they may now have to pay to see a doctor, soon after a No Deal Brexit, but the free market created in healthcare will make sure it’s a better doctor than the one no longer available, free at the point of use, to the public.”
And of course you’ll be paying your fair share of tax on your profits.
“I wouldn’t be employing some exceptionally expensive accountants and lawyers to negotiate on my behalf with the taxman if I didn’t intend to pay what I consider fair.”
So all the talk of chaos as a result of a No Deal, or Hard Brexit, that’s just project fear?
“It’s project anticipation. Can you imagine what will happen while the state is focused on food distribution? How many swindles will go unnoticed? And just think about the inflow of offshore capital once the last remaining shreds of public services are put up for auction?”
So from all this there will be a trickle down of wealth creation to the average person?
“Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to work. People must pay their taxes. Not unless it’s company taxes of course. Those will of necessity have to be lowered to encourage even greater investment. And so too the regulations covering the jobs market. Cut the red tape! Cut it all away.”
I’m not really seeing how the massive generation of profit for a tiny percent from a sudden economic crash is going to trickle down?
“Then you’re not watching the champagne cascade down the glasses.”