ALL TOGETHER NOW AND PUSH : Downing Street has responded to questions about pro-Brexit, and pro-Johnson, messaging being beamed directly into thousands of schools by explaining “it’s perfectly normal in a democracy to attempt to brainwash children.”
The push to have children more fully appreciate the necessity of Mr Johnson crushing parliament is part of “sensible, ongoing preparations for No Deal.”
The project nests under the title of “Operation Brainwasher” and takes its inspiration from the successful totalitarian regimes of the 20th Century.
“Once children grasp the divine nature of Mr Johnson’s mission we will expand the messaging to better help children help the executive.”
The expansion will include subtle messages such as “The far right? It’s all reich!” and “Your father had to go away to help the state”.
Plans to have children report on any wrong-thinking their parents and teachers may display are also being worked up.
“We’re going to set up a freephone number. I can tell you dentists are going to be busy. If I were a career’s advisor that’s where I’d be pushing kids right now.”
Further measures are also being considered.
“We’re focus group testing a song in support of our heroic leader, Boris Johnson, right now, focusing on the themes of surrender.”
Giant Mr Johnson statues will also soon be deployed across the country so people know who to focus their adoration on.
“They’ll be hot air inflatables. Just like the man himself. The public carrying of pins will of course have to be banned.”
Talk to your child today and explain the benefits of Brexit.
“And be sure to explain that partisan political messaging being beamed directly intro schools by central government is 100% democracy, the British way!”