Pardon my French! Pint sized pillock Mark Francois has been removed from the Conservative & Undemocratic Nationalist Threat party. You do the acronym.
Brexit has led us to this ridiculous ethnic cleansing. Only people with good honest British names like Johnson, Farage and Patel will be permitted to stay here.
But Mark Francois is clearly FRENCH! His name is French and it means French! He had therefore obviously an EU imposter and spy, and has been expelled from the Conservative Party and forced to seek asylum with the Lib Dems.
Francois was outraged. “You Eenglish pig dogs!” he exploded. “I fart in your general direction. Fetchez la vache!”
Francois is only in the public eye again because he managed to evade the security guards at the Bedlam unit where he is kept under lock and key for his own safety. He managed to spout nonsense on TV and dress up as a policemen before his minders tracked him down and sedated him again.
Pedantic linguists see this as a worrying development. “Britain will end up being expelled from Britain,” claimed cunning linguist Polly Glott. “Britain is a French name. So is Wales. England is a German name. The Scots came from Ireland and vice versa. Our land is literally foreign and will have to be banned!”
“That’s a load of bollocks!” reported Francois diplomatically. “What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would… err…” He paused to seize a rose from a nearby rosebush. “Aaaarggghh! The f&@#ing thorns have ripped off all my skin! They should be banned! Now!”
English roses are prickly underneath. Who knew?
Brexit, then will not just split Britain from Europe, or England from Scotland. The UK will be an ex country. It will cease to be.
So to make sure the UK survives, logically Brexit must stop. Unfortunately it means we will also have to keep Mark Francois.