GRAB THE TIGER BY THE TAIL AND PULL IT OFF : RECENT REPORTS SUGGEST the general public maybe coming to perceive their government as an exercise in never ending SNAFU that couldn’t care less how many perish for Brexit?
LCD Views are here to say that is not the case.
There has apparently been an attempt made to calculate the death rate resulting from No Deal Brexit. An attempt has been made to calculate? The potential lethal impact of a purely voluntary political choice? Surely this shows concern at the highest levels of government.
Furthermore, even with disruption to supply chains, it doesn’t mean Global Britons will go without.
Do not panic.
“There maybe localised food shortages,” a Downing Street ‘source’ said today, responding to the flutters of worry, “they will be worse in areas with lower than average feline ownership. But anywhere that has lots of pets will be just fine.”
These can’t be many areas? All over Blighty Britons love cats, dogs, parrots and small mammals in general.
“We will though be issuing guidance, in line with Yellowhammer planning, that teaches patriots how to skin a cat. There are apparently many ways. Good traditional British ingenuity will see us ride over the bumps in the road after we crash out of over 700 international agreements at the stroke of a clock.”
Quite how you skin a cat is a question that is rarely asked in modern Britain. We presume you have to choose between skinning your own or a neighbour’s first?
“We could even have entire sectors of the economy dedicated to reviving not only cat fur, but any mammal you care to name that is currently indulged as a layabout. And pet snakes too. Britons will need shoes and belts after Brexit. Some things will never change.”
Don’t worry, if the geniuses behind Brexit believe they can get away with lying to the Queen, what plans do their powerful imaginations have for your pets? With any luck, we’ll never find out.