IN OUT SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT : Labour have taken a bold step forwards and then to the side, and then back to where they started today by deciding on a new Brexit policy that can be easily misrepresented across social media and by the government.
“We’re going to campaign for a referendum with a credible leave option in a general election, get office and then renegotiate Brexit with the EU before putting it back to the people and campaigning against it,” a Labour ‘source’ said, “anything else risks us actually getting into government.”
The decision to keep on with a Brexit position that attempts to appeal to the many and pleases few is clever indeed.
“It’s based on the assumption that no one is fed to the back teeth yet with Brexit and the many want many more years of it, before even getting a deal. I’m sure it will focus group well. So far of course we’ve only focused grouped Len McClusky, but he seems happy. It’s best also to decide our policy ahead of party conference, as that’s more democratic.”
The EU also will be certain to want to renegotiate the Brexit deal they offered to Theresa May, especially if Jeremy Corbyn is doing it.
“Just because Labour’s current Brexit red lines are completely nonsensical from a negotiating standpoint, such as being in a kind of customs union but not really, and also committed to leaving the single market, doesn’t mean the EU won’t want to sit around a table for more years talking about it. Because Jeremy Corbyn will be doing it.”
But critics of the great fence sit in have suggested that a multi-step policy just leaves Labour open to being torn to shreds in a general election.
“The Brexit party will grab a lot of their leavers in a GE,” a critic of the Labour policy said, “the Greens and Liberal Democrats, Plaid, Alliance and SNP will grab their centre, left of centre and fed up pro-EU, probably could have voted for Labour, but not with this policy, just right of centre Tory swingers, so it’s very difficult to see how Labour gets enough seats to form a government? In fact this fence policy potentially opens the door to another Tory government.”
But the Labour source hit back and said,
“F off and vote Tory then. Oh wait. That’s no longer our social media policy as for some reason it’s backfired. Look, we don’t want to be in government until the government has delivered us Brexit, which we’ll magically turn into Lexit, once the masses rise up and lift us into government. It’s all incredibly clever. Just you wait and see. Cummings isn’t the only master of four dimensional chess. We can play it too.”