IT’S GOVERNMENT JIM, BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT : Prime Minister of a shrinking island off the coast of Europe, Boris Johnson, has been applauded today for uniting the country.
“Not even Theresa May managed this feeling of unity,” a Boris Johnson watcher noted, “and people loathed her. Boris really does have that special touch his backers rave on about.”
The touch itself is believed to be similar to bring manhandled by a living personification of norovirus, while it attempts a snog.
“Have you seen the news?” the watcher asked, “well not the BBC, as that’s no longer news. But Channel 4 and Twitter? All over the country in large cities and towns Boris has brought people out onto the streets.”
The trigger to the spontaneous events appears to be the Johnson government’s contempt for parliament. Also, having that crafty old devil, Jacob Reeks-smogg, allegedly lie to the Queen’s face.
“That takes some balls,” the watcher sees clearly, “but then Brexit and it’s proponents have trashed ever other institution, so why not the monarchy? Full house!”
And it is expected that the impromptu marches caused by Johnson as PM may only just be getting into gear.
“It will be quite something if parliament manages to get its act together this week and actually make No Deal Brexit illegal, and then if Boris and chums ignore it.”
How will the eager and watchful public respond to the end of their parliamentary democracy? Boris and friends may just like that hornet’s nest with a stick and find out.
And in other, related news, the PR consultant that advised Ed Milliband to eat a bacon sandwich back in 2015 has been charged with treason…