It’s a lot of hot air! Bouncy castle manufacturer Bounce 4 Boris is offering to replace the outdated Palace of Westminster with brightly coloured inflatables.
It’s a fantastic idea. It means that anywhere with a bit of open space can now accommodate Parliament, and have a fun family day out at the same time.
“People have tried to blow up Parliament before,” remarked managing director Guy Ropes. “But we are the first people to succeed!”
Bounce 4 Boris is hosting pop-up Parliaments across the length and breadth of the UK. “We are choosing iconic locations, such as Blackpool beach and the Angel of the North,” explained Ropes. “We are taking Parliament to The People!”
It will be an unprecedented spectacle. Grown men and women, accustomed to behaving like children anyway, will now be able to get some much needed exercise during debates, and anyone can join in so long as they take their shoes off first.
One problem has arisen, unfortunately. There is a team of puffed-up rogues, all hot air and empty promises, who are determined to prevent Parliament meeting at all. These characters, who consist of modelling balloons roughly joined together, want to prick the pomposity of the pop-up Parliament.
These overblown, twisted characters he been warned about using sharp instruments, as they themselves are particularly blunt instruments.
The pro-prorogue rogue element is determined to stop inflation.
“It’s do or die,” came the message from the inflatable Number Ten, currently hosting a child’s birthday party in a minor provincial city. “We cannot allow The People anywhere near the debate, they gave their opinion loud and clear in an illegal advisory referendum in which anyone who voted the wrong way was deemed not to have voted. The oxygen of publicity must go, and go now!”
In the dead of night, the saboteurs slashed the bouncy Parliament, also damaging the inflatable Queen, and puncturing themselves in the process.
“One is most disappointed,” remarked the deflated Queen. “You’ve let me down, let Parliament down, and let yourselves down.”