RESISTANCE IS FERTILE : As the protests against Boris Johnson’s regime putting parliament on ice spread from the major centres to the towns of the UK, Boris Johnson’s make believe autocracy has moved to shut them down.
“We’re redefining the very definition of democracy,” a Downing Street ‘source’ told LCD Views, “it was reportedly Michael Gove’s idea. He’s an expert at rendering language pointless and meaningless. And if you control the meanings of words you control all.”
It seems the new definition will not be as bolted down as the last?
“Yes. It will make things flexible and allow your regime, I mean the billionaire funded think tank masquerading as a government, well, it will allow us to respond to events daily.”
It will mean no one can accuse you of not defending democracy?
“Exactly. We will tell you everyday what democracy is and you’ll get to like it. That way you can stay home and be happy. And we can do whatever we like without having to phone up the BBC every five minutes to shout ‘DO NOT RUN THAT PROTEST FOOTAGE!’ You can’t defend something if you don’t know what it is, or can’t communicate the concept to others.”
But what will the new definition be? For starters?
“It will be whatever Boris Johnson said yesterday, today and tomorrow. This will give us total control as whatever Boris Johnson says is always indefensible.”
Makes about as much sense as anything else they’re up to.