LINE OF SUCKESSION : A Downing Street source has moved swiftly to quell concerns over the abrupt firing, and replacement, of Queen Elizabeth II as head of state.
“This is perfectly normal for a change of government,” the Downing Street source soothed, “the Queen was advised by the Privy council that it was time for her to stand aside for a more ‘now’ and ‘cleverer’ and ‘massive brained’ head of state and she did so.”
But controversy has already engulfed the smooth handover of power as there has been no official coronation of the new ruler of the United Kingdom.
“Oh, there’s been a coronation alright,” the source said, “it begun on the 23rd June 2016, it continued with contempt of parliament, it stepped up a gear with alleged political interference into the police investigations into criminality in the Leave campaigns and it concluded with the pretend election of Boris Johnson to leader of the Tory/BXP party.”
There was a further note to this end.
“Anyone who doesn’t agree with the change of sovereign has been warned they face de-selection, if necessary of their citizenship.”
Other changes will be following now the revolution is public knowledge.
“Boris Johnson will now be known as the first puppet, blonde malfoy, or whatever you like. He’s served his purpose.”
And will Dominic Cummings be known as the Queen?
“No. He will be called the Middle Finger, as that’s what he gives to parliamentary democracy, but he’ll still be wearing the fancy, gold hats.”